Two are better than one

“Jontan, I loves you,” said the small girl, busily arranging lego pieces into a tank trap at the bedroom door.
“Cattin, I loves you too,” replied the small boy as he stirred up a paste of mud and water in the washbasin.
“Us don’ mind if we’re naughty, do we?”

And so it began.

Rearranging the kitchen, putting groceries to the back of the saucepan cupboard, bread in the rubbish bin, hiding milk under the table.
Putting salt in the sugar bowl.
Daubing naked bodies with mud and paint, then dancing in the garden as neighbours arrived home from work.
Draping furniture with sheets and blankets to make a refugee camp: removing all light bulbs in the room to make it authentic. Leaving it for their father to stumble into when he arrived home from the pub.
Walking along the top of the neighbour’s wall, trying to see through bathroom and bedroom windows. Choosing their time carefully.
Climbing through hedges, blacked up commando-style, after dark, to retrieve errant footballs.
Hiding in trees, then suddenly dangling upside down to swing above the head of an unsuspecting passer-by.
Pretending, until Jonathan’s voice broke, to be the other twin speaking on the phone. Agreeing to requests on the twin’s behalf.

Enjoying the ensuing chaos.

There was nothing I could do about it all. Two are better than one – and boy, did they get the better of me.

I never had any more children.

Twin Terror

The Heavenly Twins or the Adorable Angels? Angels was the best name for them. Fallen ones.

How could innocent children be so wicked? Theirs was a world of total security - nothing could shake it. Whatever they chose to do together, they accomplished. They were fearless of the outcome, even when everything went wrong.

Like the time they got stuck in the hedge.

It was, to be fair, quite tall - Cypress leylandii, thick and lush. A determined child could climb up inside it, popping out like a cork from a bottle at the top. Once there, they used it like a living trampoline. So far, so good. Until one of them hit a thin spot, plummeting to the ground with bits of twigs sticking out of limbs and body.
The other was stuck on top. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t get back down again – not even down the hole left by his twin.
One ladder, two adults and several remonstrances later, both twins were back on the ground. Covered in bright red rashes, an allergic reaction to the leaves.

They boasted about it for weeks.

Innocent devilment progressed to calculated wickedness. By the time they arrived at secondary school they were a force to be reckoned with. The sister ran a protection racket, supported by her brother. He did the same for her. Even the teachers became wary.

After becoming Head Boy and Girl, they headed for university and careers in banking.

I brought them up well.

Chausiku says: Well-written and hilarious,Mpira!
Wordmate says: Really funny. Loved the punchline
nicolacleasby says: This was well written and I think the banks and the twins deserve each other.
susanjones says: Very funny, and appropriate for the times we are living in. Liked it very much.

One is more than enough

The room was quiet now, save for the murmuring of the visitors standing under the trees outside, the panting breath of the woman on the bed and the squalling of the child.
“A beautiful baby girl,” the midwife pronounced. Her brown face, shiny with effort, beamed at the young mother.
“Ah, wonderful,” came the tired reply. “Just what I wanted.” Smiles echoed around the hospital delivery room. The air was still and warm, hung with the heavy scent of frangipani wafting in through the open window.
“Just a minute.” The atmosphere changed with the alarm in the voice. “I think there’s another one.”
“ANOTHER?”
“Yes, there seems to be another baby here.”
“You said I had a girl. That’s fine. That’s what I wanted. Stop right there.”
“Sorry, mama, but there IS another baby coming. You didn’t know?”
“I didn’t know.”
“Another beautiful baby girl.”
The mother turned her head, weeping. This was not how it should be. The midwife sighed. “Be thankful, mother, that you are of the right tribe. Twins are a blessing for you, not a bad omen. Be thankful that you do not belong to a people where, fifty years ago, you would have had to leave one child out for the hyenas, or your family would have been cursed. Be thankful that your girls are healthy: you are doubly blessed.”
Yes, thought the young woman, tired beyond thinking. I must be thankful. I suppose I AM blessed. But will they be?

Medlycott says: I liked that, a lot. A nice, different angle. Very good. David
Chausiku says: Mpira, this is an excellent piece. On reading the brief, my mind was blank as to what I could possibly come up with that would be interesting, but you have succeeded. As with much of your writing, rafiki, you bring me right back to my childhood days in East Africa!
tesslin says: Well done for being the first, I have looked at this since the competiton was set and have thought of nothing. This is a good and interesting piece, the only thing I am not sure about is the : after healthy.
jer364 says: Athought provoking piece that set the standard. It was a tricky brief but this was beautifully handled.
j2write says: I can't really add to the other comments - they have captured what I would have written. A well worked piece. The thought of the hyena - made me cringe. Well done.